omg now don't I feel special!! NOT! I've been home sick ALL day long.. and wasn't able to go over to Jess M's house for the sleepover with the girls. It really sucks. They are probably still up now. I have to wait until three oclock to take another pill, yes another! I went to the dentist yesturday to get my tooth pulled out (my wisdom tooth) which took a heck of a while! They spent an hour and a half holding my mouth open most of the time..err I was getting tired, and so were they. There were two girls working at my tooth, and they were talking back and forth to each other about how difficult it was, and they said they are getting impatient cause it took so long. My tooth wasn't coming out! they tried to break it.. but they couldnt find a way. Then they started talkin about dvds and clothing sales down at the mall. I didn't mind, but it was kinda boring to be there that long. Plus, they put 4 needles in my mouth to get my side of the mouth and half my tounge and lip to freeze. Then when they still couldnt get my tooth out we went to get another Xray of my teeth. While they were looking at the Xray I went back into the room and looked in the mirror at my mouht. It looked disgusting, as if I had a hole in the side of my mouth and it was bleeding.. not where my tooth was but literally in the side of my mouth..ugh! anyways I sit back on the bed and they come in. I look at the dentist who spoke english and said, "It doesnt look good".. she said "yes it does. Its gonna be okay.blah blah" and I was like, "No I looked in the mirror. It doesnt LOOK good." She said "oh why'd u do that?" she giggled. I was like "i dont know. I shouldn't have. hehe" Ya so they finally got my tooth out, and prescribed me medication. I asked for a doctors note, and then went to the pharmacy. The woman there asked me for my address.. and I did signs with my hands signifying that I wanted to write it down on paper. I couldn't talk because the dentist put gauze in my mouth and asked me to keep it in for 20 minutes. Finally, I get my medication. Then I looked at the time, and I had just missed my bus by three minutes, so I had to wait another half hour.

I didnt really wait. I walked for 20 mins, and stopped at the bus stop when it was time to catch the bus. I felt like horrible. Tired. Sick. Disgusted. Plus I knew I looked bad with a numb lip. While waiting at the bus stop, I felt my lips were dry so I get out my lip gloss and tried to put it on. I did. Luckily I didn't miss my lip.. and get my cheek. hehe One time when they froze my lip I had a lollipop and i ended up missing my mouth! aquard moment. LOL anyways ya so I get on the bus and there are so many people so I stay at the front and lay my head on the side of the bus near the bus driver. I was in no mood to try and see if I knew anyone on the bus.

When I arrived home, my brother was there so I had asked him if he could call mom at work for me. He asked me why I couldn't do it. I said I can and that I just wanted him to get her on the phone for me. It was hard for me to speak omg.. lol anyways as soon as he picks up the phone to call her, the phone rings. He picks up the phone and starts laughing. It was her. My mom. lol what a coincidence.

anyways I take my pill and go to sleep. wake up feeling sick. My mom was home by then. I just couldnt eat. I rinsed my mouth with cold water.. bad mistake. I wasnt aloud.. yet didnt know it. My mouth didnt stop bleeding. I was like.. to heck. I took out the gauze and let it heal on its own. It stopped bleeding in no time at all. But i kept feeling sick! I didnt know what to eat.. but I decided to eat my fettichini on the right side of my mouth. Then I tilted my head and sipped pepsi on.. the right side of my mouth..lol not letting it touch the other side.

Then today.. i wake up in the morning and my cheeck is swollen. Yuck! it looks horrible! I looked on the computer and it said that it is normal that my jaw will be swollen for 3 days after the surgery. I was so mad! lol And today I ate tiny peices of a chocolate bar in the morning because I knew they were soft and they could melt without my having to chew on them. Then I just simply couldnt eat. My mom came home from the grocery store around 2 and brought me back a big jar of apple sauce. Iate half.. and felt even more sick. Then later on around 4:30 she came in and told me to try to eat a banana. I did.. but it was soo hard! it took me a while to eat it. I felt like I was gonna get sick.

 Then I thought of my BF and smiled because I pictured his smile and it just cheered me up. I love his smile.. I find him absolutely beautiful! can I say that for a man??! lol anyways this was about 15 mins later after I ate my banana. I called him and he was at matts house watching alex (matts baby) while matt was gone to pick up Mc Donalds. Anyways i talk to him for a minute and had to hang up with him because I felt sick again. Although I did FEEL sick I didnt get sick which was a relief. Anyways I call him back.. and we're talkin and I'm just smiling.. he said "wait a minute. I hear Matts baby crying." then he said.."where is she?" I laughed! It was so cute the way he said it..hehe he was in the computer room and well the baby was in the bedroom when matt left so he didnt know whether the baby was in the crib in the living room or in the bedroom so he tried the living room and couldnt see her. hihi. then he brought her in the computer room and he said she was having fun looking at him play World of Warcraft. hihi cute! ya so Matt comes back with Mc Donalds and I said goodbye because I knew he wanted to eat.

Then a half an hour later Jess L calls me. She is back from MTRL. I had already known that but i was too sick to call her. So we talked for like half an hour.. and I tell her I'm too sick to make it to Jess M's that night. I really wanted to go.

 Anyways, yesturday was my brothers bday but we didnt celebrate it then because he was going out to a party with his friends. We didnt know when we were gonna celebrate it. He came home after work today  and we didnt know when he'd arrive, but he could smell the cake freshly baked. He felt bad and was gonna stay home ( he was gonna go play hockey with his friends because it was Nicky's b-day and all the guys were going), until we told him that it was okay and that we will have another for him tomorrow. He still felt bad, but we convinced him enough so that he went to play hockey. We could always do it another day. We didnt already do up the cake. My mom just simply baked it and she had another cake mix so it was fine.Anyways he came home tonight with his GF, and we celebrated his bday tonight. We gave him the gifts.. and the cake.. and the bday cards.. and we watched some new movies he got for his bday. One was really funny called "a night at the Roxbury's".. hihi hilarious.

tomorrow if I'm feeling better which right now Im not.. I will see my BF. I miss him! havent seen him since thursday and I practically see him if not every day then every two days. yes cant seem to stop thinking of him. I dont wanna ever break up with him. He's my life. He's my babay! =D

this week I'll take a day off from school to go to saint lawrence and see my friends. At least our group will be together there.. yay! Jess L, Jess M, Kimm and me. I have other friends at the other school.. and there at saint lawrence but these are my best friends. Cant wait. umm lets see hopefully the swollingnes in my cheeck is gone by then! lol at on friday there will be a beer bash with the saint larence people  and Im going..i was invited so Im gonna go. I dont go to that school anymore but I keep in contact with friends there.. lol and I might bring some of my new friends along with me. well bye! xx

I got this poem off of bhere4me's blog. She wrote this poem and it made me think of my BF, so I asked if I could post it on my blog and she said yes. It's really cute! At the end she wrote "I love you Brandon", so I changed it to "I love you Marc".

i never knew
i never knew
until it happened.
Tip toes,
vulnerability.
measured breathes.
careful not to seem
ungrounded.
arms upstretched
diving into the sky.
right now I am dancing.
Dancing with fright.
incomprehension.
well, i can comprehend,
but i am unable
unable to explain.
explain the love I have for you
explain the feelings i have,
this fear I have.
Because in it,
I am not scared.
I trust you
not screw me over.
but, still....
scared to...
grow too far apart.
which i told you.
i never knew
i never knew.
what love is.
i would follow you anywhere.
do anything for you,
cause you mean everything to me.
i would cross the desert
no matter how thirsty i am
just to hear your voice.
saying the words
"i love you"
i will love you each and every day
sacrafices
living on thoughts of you.
i never knew that i never knew
just how fulfilling
something could be.
how someone can
take a place in your heart
and then you feel like
your heart will burst
because it is so filled
with love, compassion, and happiness.
i never knew
i never knew
how much one person could mean to someone.
How unselfish I can become.
How this one person's
wants go before my needs.
Except, not in their eyes.
All I want is for this one person
to know that I now know
what I never knew that I never knew.
I love you Marc

You're more than a lover. There could never be another to make me feel the way you do. Oh we just get closer. I fall in love all over everytime I look at you. I don't know where I'd be without you here with me. Life with you makes perfect sense. You're my best friend.

Baby I've been drifting away. Dreaming all day. I'm holding u, touching u. The only thing I wanna do is be with u. As close to you as I can be.

I live for little moments when he steals my heart and doesnt even know it. I live for little moments like that.

Got a picture of u I carry in my heart. Close my eyes and see it when the world gets dark. Got a memory of you i carry in my soul. I wrap it close around me when the nights get cold. If you ask me how I'm doing, I say just fine. but the truth is baby if u can read my mind, not a day goes by that I dont think of u. After all this time you're still with me it's true. Somehow u remain lots so deep inside. Baby baby oh baby not a day goes by.

Wherever u go, whatever u do I will be right here waiting for u.

True like the sun coming up each the morning. bright as the light in a baby's smile, sure as a mountain river winding, right as the rain falling from the sky, boy my love for u is true.

Everytime our eyes meet this feeling inside me is almost almost more than i can take. baby when u touch me i can feel how much u love me and it just blows me away. I never been this close to anyone or anything. I can feel ur thoughts. I can see ur dreams. I dont know how u do what u do. Im so in love with u. I wanna spend the rest of my life with u by my side forever and ever. Every little thing that u do baby I'm amazed by u.

Mount Everest, I'll climb it No problem, just say when. Mississippi, I'll swim it down to the delta and back again
If you love somebody it ain't that hard. If you love somebody to go that far. well, there ain't no limit to the things you do if you love somebody the way that I do you.

I cross my heart and promise to give all I've got to give to make all your dreams come true. In all the world you'll never find a love as true as mine.

I'm falling even more in love with you. Letting go of all I've held onto. I'm standing here until you make me move.
I'm hanging by a moment here with you.

I just got a let u know what it is that wont let me go. It's ur love. It just does something to me. It sends a shock right through me. I cant get enough. And if u wonder about the spell I'm under, It's Your Love.

I'll be there for u. These five words I swear to u. When u breathe i wanna be the air for u. I'll be there for u. I'll live and I'll die for u. I'll steal sun from the sky for u. Words cant say what love can do. I'll be there for u.

 THIS IS TOO CUTE!

Girl: I'm always here for you
Boy: I know
G.irl: What's wrong?
Boy: I like her so much
G.irl: Talk to her
Boy: I don't know. She won't ever like me
G.irl: Don't say that. You're amazing.
Boy: I just want her to know how I feel.
G.irl: Then tell her.
Boy: She won't like me
G.irl: How do you know that?
Boy: I can just tell
Gir.l: Well just tell her.
Boy: What should I say
Gi.rl: Tell her how much you like her
Boy: I tell her that daily
Gi.rl: what do you mean?
Boy: I'm always with her. I love her.
Gir.l: I know how you feel. I have the same problem. But he'll never like me
Boy: Wait. Who do you like?
Gi.rl: Oh some boy
Boy: Oh... she won't like me either.
G.irl: She does
Boy: How do you know..
G.irl: Because, who wouldn't like you?
Boy: You
Girl: You're wrong, I love you.
Boy: I love you too.
Gi.rl: So are you going to talk to her?
Boy: I just did

I DIDNT WRITE THIS. I FOUND IT ON A SITE. CUTE EH?

 THIS IS TOO CUTE!

Girl: I'm always here for you
Boy: I know
G.irl: What's wrong?
Boy: I like her so much
G.irl: Talk to her
Boy: I don't know. She won't ever like me
G.irl: Don't say that. You're amazing.
Boy: I just want her to know how I feel.
G.irl: Then tell her.
Boy: She won't like me
G.irl: How do you know that?
Boy: I can just tell
Gir.l: Well just tell her.
Boy: What should I say
Gi.rl: Tell her how much you like her
Boy: I tell her that daily
Gi.rl: what do you mean?
Boy: I'm always with her. I love her.
Gir.l: I know how you feel. I have the same problem. But he'll never like me
Boy: Wait. Who do you like?
Gi.rl: Oh some boy
Boy: Oh... she won't like me either.
G.irl: She does
Boy: How do you know..
G.irl: Because, who wouldn't like you?
Boy: You
Girl: You're wrong, I love you.
Boy: I love you too.
Gi.rl: So are you going to talk to her?
Boy: I just did

I DIDNT WRITE THIS. I FOUND IT ON A SITE. CUTE EH?

ON VALENTINES DAY IN THE MORNING BEFORE I WENT TO SCHOOL, MARC WAS AWAKE BUT STILL LAYING DOWN. I WANTED TO LAY HIS GIFTS BESIDE THE COMPUTER SO THAT WHEN HE WOKE UP HE'D SEE THEM, BUT I COULDNT BECAUSE HIS COMPUTER WAS CLOSE TO HIS BED SO HE WOULD SEE ME PUT THEM DOWN. TEN MINUTES BEFORE I HAD TO LEAVE, I CALLED MY MOM. SHE WAS MAKING HEART SHAPED COOKIES WITH THE CHILD SHE LOOKS AFTER (SHES A NANNY). I ASKED HER WHAT I SHOULD DO, AND SHE SAID PUT IT SOMEWHERE HE WOULD SEE IT WHEN HE WOKE UP. I QUICKLY GRABBED A PEN AND A PEICE OF CONSTRUCTION PAPER AND DREW TONS OF HEARTS ON IT.. AND WROTE A MESSAGE TO HIM TELLING HIM HOW MUCH I LOVE HIM. AT THE TIME I WAS THINKING, MAYBE MARC IS SLEEPING AND THAT IT MIGHT BE BETTER TO LEAVE IT AT THE COMPUTER, BUT.. AS SOON AS I WAS WRITING, I HEARD MARC'S VOICE. HE WAS CALLING TO ME, ASKING IF I WAS GOING TO SCHOOL, AND THAT I NEEDED TO LEAVE THEN TO CATCH THE BUS. SO I HURRYED. I LAYED THE GIFTS ON THE KITCHEN TABLE AROUND THE PEICE OF PAPER AND WENT TO HUG MY SWEETHEART GOODBYE. I WENT TO SCHOOL.

WHEN I WENT BACK TO HIS PLACE AFTER SCHOOL, I KNOCKED ON HIS DOOR, AND HIS ROOMATE KEPT ME OUT IN THE HALLWAY, AND KEPT SAYING NO. SO I HAD A HUGE SMILE ON MY FACE! I KNEW SOMETHING WAS UP! LOL SO I WAS HAPPY. WHEN HIS ROOMATE OPENED THE DOOR, I WENT TO SEE MARC IN HIS ROOM, AND I KISSED HIM. HE SAID HE'D BE RIGHT BACK AND THAT HE WAS GOING TO FINISH A CONVERSATION HE WAS HAVING WITH HIS ROOMATE. I SAID OKAY, AND QUICKLY WENT ON MSN TO ADD A FRIEND TO THE LIST. MARC CAME IN AND SAID WITH A LAUGH, "DIDNT TAKE U LONG FOR U TO GO ON MSN! HEHE". THEN HE SMILED AT ME AND ASKED ME IF ANYTHING COULD BE BETTER. I SAID YES, THEN QUICKLY SAID NO.. NO. LOL AND HE SMILED AND ASKED.. ARE U SURE? I HUGGED HIM AND HE WENT AND SAT ON THE COMPUTER CHAIR AND BENT DOWN TO GET A BOX OF CHOCOLATES AND A CUTE LITTLE WHITE SOFT TEDDY BEAR (HEHE LOTS OF WORDS TO DESCRIBE IT EH?!). I WAS SOOO HAPPY! IT WAS SOO ADORABLE! MARC'S SUCH A CUTE GUY! THEN, HE LEANED OVER AND GRABBED A DOZEN ROSES THAT WERE WRAPPED. AND MY HEART WAS SKIPPING SOO MUCH! I OPENED THEM AND THEY WERE SOO BEAUTIFUL! 12 RED ROSES! AWW.. I NEVER HAD THAT MANY ROSES BEFORE! MARC THEN SAID HE WAS GOING TO TAKE A SHOWER, BUT I DIDNT LET HIM GO UNTIL WHAT.. 10 MINS LATER! LOL WHILE HE WAS IN THE SHOWER I WENT ON THE COMPUTER AND TOLD SOME OF MY FRIENDS WHAT HE DID! AND I EVEN WROTE WHAT HE GOT ME IN MY STATUS.. LOL THAT NIGHT WE WATCHED A MOVIE AND CUDDLED.

THE NEXT DAY, I WENT BACK TO HIS PLACE TO GET THE FLOWERS, BUT I ENDED UP STAYING. I WAS TOO CAUGHT UP IN THE MOMENT. I TOLD MARC THAT I WAS TIED OF JUST LAYING ON HIS BED AND THAT I WANTED TO DO SOMETHING DIFFERENT, SO WE HUNG OUT IN THE LIVING ROOM FOR A WHILE, AND HE WAS TELLING ME HOW MUCH HE LOVED ME. HE WAS MAKING MY HEART MELT AS USUAL! HE MAKES MY HEART MELT EVERYDAY! WITH A GUY LIKE THAT, I CANT HOLD HIM MORE TIGHTLY THEN I DO NOW. I LOVE HIM SOO MUCH! AND WANT TO BE WITH HIM EVERY SECOND.. HOLDING HIM EVERY SECOND.. I KNOW I KNOW.. IM ADDICTED TO HIM.. ITS HARD SOMETIMES WHEN HES ON THE COMPUTER. I MISS HIM WHEN HES IN THE SAME ROOM, BUT THAT NIGHT.. I DECIDED TO STAY OVER AGAIN, AND WHILE HE WAS ON THE COMPUTER,, I REALLY COULDNT STOP KISSING HIM! I MEAN.. THAT NIGHT WASNT USUAL. I DONT EVER KISS HIM THAT LONG. I COULDNT STOP! AND NOT JUST HIS LIPS BUT MOSTLY HIS NECK. i THINK IT WAS THE MUSIC THAT WAS PLAYING, AND THE ROSES HE BOUGHT ME, AND THE WORDS HE SAID TO ME THAT MADE ME FEEL SOO SPECIAL.

THE NEXT DAY MARC WAS TEACHING ME HOW TO PLAY WORLD OF WARCRAFT. I CHANGED RANK. IM NOW AN UNDEAD WARRIOR. I FORGET WHAT I WAS BEFORE.. BUT IT WAS FUN! NOT AT THE BEGINNING BUT ONCE U START TO PLAY WITH THE PEOPLE. ITS SUPER COOL CAUSE U DO QUESTS TOGETHER AND DONT GET UR BUTT KICKED AS FAST. WHICH IS OBVIOUSLY BETTER, CAUSE IF U RUN OUT OF HP.. THEN U DIE AND U HAVE TO GO FIND UR CORPSE.. ERR IT TAKES A WHILE WHEN UR ALONG CAUSE U TEND TO GET UR BUTT KICKED IF U DONT HAVE GOOD ARMOR. THANKS TO MARC, HE IS LEVEL 60 AND GIVES ME GOOD ARMOR, ALTHOUGH UNFORTUNATLY U CAN ONLY START TO USE WHEN U GET A HIGHER LEVEL SOMETIMES.

WELL THATS ALL. I WENT HOME YESTURDAY  WITH MY FLOWERS, AND LITTERALLY FELT ON MY BUTT IN THE SNOW. I MISSED MY BUS! THERE WAS A SNOW STORM. THEN TODAY SCHOOL WAS CANCELLED! SOO I STAYED HOME AND GOT LAZY AND MADE MYSELF A CD. CAUGHT UP IN LOVE, I MADE A CD OF JUST LOVE SONGS AND COUNTRY AT THAT. NOT THE OLD COUNTRY.. THE GOOD COUNTRY. DONT THINK IM CRAZY CAUSE I LIKE COUNTRY.. JUST.... THINK IM CRAZY IN GENERAL AND ITS ALL GOOD! =D     ; XOXO BYE! AND HAVE A NICE DAY!!

Yesturday I found out that I was suspended from school for a week because I missed 50 % of school last week. Anyways, to me its just a week vacation and I get to go see friends, so I'm happy. I haven't see Jess and Kim and a while, and I also got to see some of my old classmates that I talk to. It was nice. I went yesurday and today. Also, yesturday Oli and Miles came over to my bfs house, where we all played Super Smash Bros. It was real fun, until I started getting tired. I went on the computer. Then everyone quit except for Miles. My bf feel asleep on his bed, and we were like, "when's he gonna wake up?" anyways i get off the computer, and layed down beside marc. Then Oli and I were talking for a good half an hour, if not more. Then I start to play with Miles, and later on Miles leaves. Marc wakes up, and Oli buys pizza for all of us, saying that we got to buy him a pizza later. So we had great pizza! after that I talked to Steph for an hour on the phone. She's doing alright. Gonna see her next tuesday. anyways.. today was fun! got to see Kim and Jess, and went to Values workshop with pierre-etienne and my mom. Its a program for parents and kids. Anyways, BYE! xoxoxo